Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Things you can do in Boston's North End

that you can't do in San Francisco:

1) Name your donut shop "Trani"

Now my Italian is a little rusty, but based on my general understanding of romance languages, I'd guess "Trani" is pronounced pretty close to "Tranny". You could, of course, hang out a shingle in SF with "Trani" written on it, but no one would enter and expect to find that the answer to "What can my money buy me here?" would be "Donuts and coffee".

2) Name a jelly donut in your Trani donut shop "The Shy Guy"

Saying, out loud, in SF, "I went down to Trani to pick up some Shy Guys" would not lead folks to expect you went on a donut run. Nor would "that Shy Guy looks delicious" lead them to think you were complimenting the chef.

I'm just sayin'.

It occurs to me that the shop may, in fact, be run by Italian-American transgendered folk. In which case I humbly apologize for mocking their courageous exhibition of pride.

"Hey, Vito, dose ah pritty hawt plahtfoim heels ya gawt deah. When you git dem?"

"Angelo, I tewld you nawt to cahll me dat. I'm Princess Elastica. Now pahss me da powdahd shewgah, I'm tryin' to make donits heah."

I didn't go in, but I bet dollars to donuts that's not the scene behind the counter.