Monday, March 24, 2008

How to talk in China

I was at first appalled, then less worried when I saw this article a few weeks ago, which said that:

British athletes will have to sign a contract promising not to comment on any politically sensitive issues.

...they won't go further than what is required by the International Olympic Committee charter which restricts demonstrations of political propaganda at an Olympic Games.

Athletes who refuse to sign the agreement will not be allowed to travel to compete in the Games from August 8-24, according to a sunday newspaper report.

So it's now political propaganda to voice an opinion? Way too much "Don't piss off the Chinese" going on in the world.

But I realized that the British athletes will have the best weapon ever invented for criticizing an establishment beyond criticism: Sarcasm. A saccharine overdose of untrue dogma is a great way to make the point. Some ideas for the British athletes:

"China is such an open, modern society. The Chinese people have access to a totally unfiltered Internet where they can learn that absolutely nothing of interest happened in Tiananmen Square in 1989".


"Tibetians are certainly Chinese. It's not as if they have their own language, customs or historical borders. They all seem very happy to be part of China. That's why things are so calm and peaceful there. They were pretty done with being Buddhist, and wanted to move on."


"The Chinese media is very free. Reporters are never imprisoned for being critical of the Chinese government, which is so awesome that no one would ever criticize it for any reason at all, anyway. Who could possibly find fault with the CCP's leadership, socialism, dictatorship of the proletariat or Marxism-Leninism Mao Zedong Thought?"


"The Chinese culture is so great. They love their little girl babies so much and find them so wonderful that they're willing to export them to the rest of the world. That's awful nice of you all to share like that."

I'm sure some of the clever athletes will find a way to shine a bright light on China.