Filling up on sound bites: Satisfyingly unhealthy

Republicans: (Sung to unfrozen cave man lawyer theme music)

First they were a dictatorship
Now they are a democracy
Invading Iraq was okay!

Democrats:(Also sung to unfrozen cave man lawyer theme music)

First they had elections
Now they are a democracy
Bring all the troops home now!


Simple American: What do you think of that, Napoleon Dynamite?

Napoleon Dynamite: Ugh! Freakin' IDIOTS!

Simple American: Do you care to elaborate?

Napoleon Dynamite: Iraq's not a democracy. They don't have any skills

Simple American: What kind of skills, Napoleon? Numchucks skills? Bo staff skills?

Napoleon Dynamite: No, Idiot. Democracy skills.

Simple American: What are democracy skills?

Napoleon Dynamite: You know, democracy skills:
Having a working constitution skills,
Not assassinating people you disagree with skills,
Not blowing up police stations skills,
Tolerance of ethnic and religious diversity skills,
Rule by law and not force skills,
Not starting an ethnic war when someone's buffalo gets in your garden skills,
Having a peaceful transition of power without starting a civil war skills.

You know. Skills.

Simple American: I'm kind of in a hurry. I saw pictures of Iraqis voting on TV. So I'm just going to consider Iraq a democracy, ok?

Napoleon Dynamite: Idiots