Wednesday, September 13, 2006

This is not my beautiful wife

I find myself stuck in very odd relationship circumstances.

In a sentence, I have effectively acquired a girlfriend. And I'm not sure how this happened.

K and I have been spending a lot of time together. Which we like. And she extends invitations to do things with her. Which I accept. And in so doing, despite our understanding that I'm not looking for anything exclusive, I am left lacking the time to see anyone else.

Not that I could, anyway. My policy of openness and honesty dictates I don't hide my relationships from people. girl: What are you doing this Saturday night?

Me: Seeing K. girl: Who's K?

Me: A close friend. girl: Just a friend?

Me: Friend and lover. girl: Asshole. girls don't want to date a guy who's seeing someone else. Particularly someone he's been seeing for nearly a year.

And the more I'm out and about with K, the more deeply she's integrated into my life, the more "taken" I seem, and the less likely I am to meet other people in offline circumstances. Friends aren't going to introduce me to their available friends. Those who enquire will hear "he's got a girlfriend".

I hadn't intended to end up here. I had sought to sample broadly before jumping into anything. And I'm afraid that I didn't really choose this relationship as much as it sort of happened to me.

I sense an impending freak out, in which I will declare my life a woman free zone, and focus on making the Head of the Charles boat, a job change, and some good beer.

Sadly, I know myself well enough now to know that I like women way too much to go without for more than a few weeks. Perhaps I'll have to get comfortable truly being alone.

Tough being a non-marriage minded boy who wants an occasional snuggle and a screw.