Ex's and Oh's
M moved to Marin back in August. Kind of spooky when your ex moves within a half mile of where you live, but I understood it was largely not about me, and mostly about living in sunny beautiful and affordable Marin as opposed to dreary expensive SF.
The part that was potentially disturbing was that our mutual friend L had said that when M broke up with a prior guy, she considered moving to San Diego, which was where he was. And L thought maybe M was doing the same with me.
M and I have drastically reduced our contact with each other, since it was pretty clear that continued interaction was making it tough for her to move on.
The problem was never a lack of attraction, just a lack of compatibility in what we were looking for.
She's been dating some dude for a while now, and describes the relationship as "drama free" and "nice" which I interpret as "passion-less" and "boring", but I'm clearly not impartial.
She IM'd me yesterday morning to see if I'd stop by and see her new place. I agreed, and chose to bike down.
I don't know if it was calculated, or not, but she looked good. Shorts and a t-shirt that had a plunging v-neck which showed off cleavage more impressive than I had remembered. Girl was hot in a casual, girl-next-door-on-a-Sunday-morning way. Made it hard for me to pay attention to anything but not paying attention to her body. Focus on the eyes. Or the floor.
Maybe I'm delusional, but my inner sense says she's still interested in me. I think she was dressed to make sure I knew what I was missing. Which is fine. Flattering. And I'm clearly attracted to her. But I don't want an exclusive girlfriend relationship with her. And she wasn't nearly as empathetic or understanding as K. It just makes it clear why it's hard to remain friendly with ex's: There's always some lingering feeling of some kind. Could be jealousy, could be attraction. Whatever it is, it'll just get you into trouble.
So now I know where she lives. I'm glad she's settled and happy. I don't think I'll be stopping by to see her again any time soon.
The part that was potentially disturbing was that our mutual friend L had said that when M broke up with a prior guy, she considered moving to San Diego, which was where he was. And L thought maybe M was doing the same with me.
M and I have drastically reduced our contact with each other, since it was pretty clear that continued interaction was making it tough for her to move on.
The problem was never a lack of attraction, just a lack of compatibility in what we were looking for.
She's been dating some dude for a while now, and describes the relationship as "drama free" and "nice" which I interpret as "passion-less" and "boring", but I'm clearly not impartial.
She IM'd me yesterday morning to see if I'd stop by and see her new place. I agreed, and chose to bike down.
I don't know if it was calculated, or not, but she looked good. Shorts and a t-shirt that had a plunging v-neck which showed off cleavage more impressive than I had remembered. Girl was hot in a casual, girl-next-door-on-a-Sunday-morning way. Made it hard for me to pay attention to anything but not paying attention to her body. Focus on the eyes. Or the floor.
Maybe I'm delusional, but my inner sense says she's still interested in me. I think she was dressed to make sure I knew what I was missing. Which is fine. Flattering. And I'm clearly attracted to her. But I don't want an exclusive girlfriend relationship with her. And she wasn't nearly as empathetic or understanding as K. It just makes it clear why it's hard to remain friendly with ex's: There's always some lingering feeling of some kind. Could be jealousy, could be attraction. Whatever it is, it'll just get you into trouble.
So now I know where she lives. I'm glad she's settled and happy. I don't think I'll be stopping by to see her again any time soon.
posted by Kenneth at 9:31 AM
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