The morning routine with K's cat

The alarm goes off, Mystery lets out a "mmreep!" and saunters up the bed from wherever he was hiding to stand on my chest, purr like mad, and put his nose under my chin. Like those progressive alarm clocks, his "meep!" gets louder and louder until I show signs of life. "Meep." "Meep!" "MEEP!" If I seem likely to roll over, he'll jump from me onto K. Then back.

As soon as I'm vertical, he leaps off the bed and scampers down the hall, to wait for me outside the bathroom. I head in to take care of my needs. He waits outside the door. If he begins to wonder whether I've fallen in, he'll nose or paw the door open, and wait for me. When he hears a flush, he runs into the kitchen.

There, we check his bowl, and, if it's empty, he gets a fresh can of Fancy Feast, his one and only favorite food.

The clever cat has been conditioned that alarm = awake humans = bathroom = next stop: FANCY FEAST.

This is pretty accurate: Only difference is, no bat, and he's usually triggered by the alarm clock, though some times, just sunlight will do.