Thursday, April 27, 2006

Abundant hypocrisy

It seems my subscription auto renewed. So I've chosen to go with it.

It's futile. I've twice, in the last week (once on Match, and once not on Match), gotten the

"How long have you been separated?"

"Sorry, my ex was recently divorced, and he was a mess"

"It's irresponsible to date if you're emotionally unavailable"

Gee thanks, ladies. I'll just stay home and jerk off with porn for a year instead of trying to establish connections with living breathing humans. I'm sure that'll make me super optimized for a relationship. Studies prove that porn increases men's emotional availability, and that prolonged exposure to real women leads to hostility and indifference. I should totally not date. That way, I'll be ready to date. Thanks for the tip.

Don't get me wrong. I don't fault them for their choices, and if what they want and what I've got aren't aligned, so be it. I just happen to know I'm a spectacular guy, and I resent being rejected for reasons that have nothing to do with who I am, but with where I'm at. They're valid reasons: If women want a guy who's ready for his next girl to be the mythical "one", that's fine, and I'm not that guy. I reserve the right to pity them for impossibly fantastic concepts of romantic love.

I'm not emotionally unavailable. I think I'm rather emotionally aware and accessible. I'm just not available for a "let's move in together" relationship. That has nothing to do with emotions, and everything to do with reason. Getting serious would be stupid.

"Men on the rebound are just after sex and someone to take away the sting"

And there's something wrong with that? Wanting some company and some carnal connection? I should definitely practice celibacy for a year, to atone for having a relationship not work out. I am, after all, a recovering Catholic. And as we learned in Catholic school, it's perfectly natural for men to forego sex with women. As long as there's an adequate supply of altar boys for sublimation.

Yes, I do want sex. And I won't apologize for that. Ideally I'll find someone who wants to mountain bike with me for three hours, screw, then nap. That's a fun weekend. And what I'm looking for.

I know I'm just as contradictory here as the ladies. Wanting only as much relationship as suits me, and no more.

I'm getting fed up, though. And it's making me want to stop telling the truth and start getting some dates.

But I won't do that.