Tuesday, April 25, 2006

My brain is still a mess

I'm still working on getting off the prednisone. Last night was hard, again. Not as bad as last time, since I knew to take a pill. But the emotional side effects suck ass. The soul crushing emptiness of withdrawal is painful. I know what it is. I know it's my brain nothaving enough happy chemicals. I know it will want me to do things to get it some happy chemicals. I know it's just the pills.

There's a fearful, twitchy sadness that weighs me down right now.

I'm going to wait as long as possible to take another pill today. 20 mg/day makes me giddy. I'm trying to gt through on 10, but that's not working well. I took 10 yesterday morning, but needed another 10 at 9 ish last night.

Empty, hollow, desperate for joy. At least I now have the mental discipline to see this and know what it is and to know that the storm will pass.