Oh, so THAT'S why we're divorcing
I got home tonight to read an e-mail from my wife informing me that she's decided not to file a joint tax return afterall this year.
The mediator had pointed out that by doing a joint return, she puts money on the table which makes me willing to do things like agree to pick up her legal fees, etc.
She doesn't want to file jointly, because it "doesn't feel right in her gut". I think she feels "unsupported". While I didn't agree to give half my income for 30 months to a woman with the same education and earning power as I have, I did pay off her charges to the joint credit card for many months last year, which included her 2 month trip to Greece, and I did send her a few grand.
What I also did do was put her on my health insurance. It costs me little, but benefits her greatly. I do it out of kindness and because I do, even now, while totally pissed off at her pigheaded irrationally spiteful choices, love her. All I have to do is check a box, and pay an extra $20 per month, and she gets health insurance. So I do. And I even agreed to keep her on through 2006, and to allow the divorce not to be finalized until the end of the year, so that I could keep her covered.
Hell, tonight, while talking with a friend about changing jobs, the thought crossed my mind that I'd need to keep her insured the entire time thought my transition. I'm such a sucker.
And now all she has to do is say "YES", and I'd check a box, file our taxes, and use the resulting refund to cover her legal fees, and feel so grateful I'd agree to the really crappy agreement on the table.
So now she's going to be irrationally vengeful, and essentially deprive us both of thousands just to satisfy her desire to fuck me over financially. And it's going to make it very hard for me to want to do anything kind for her.
She cannot be kind to me while she's angry. And this is why I couldn't be married to her.
I, on the other hand, can know that I love her even when I'm angry. And this is why I'll agree to her terms. And maybe, some day, she'll see that, at least once in her life, someone loved her.
The mediator had pointed out that by doing a joint return, she puts money on the table which makes me willing to do things like agree to pick up her legal fees, etc.
She doesn't want to file jointly, because it "doesn't feel right in her gut". I think she feels "unsupported". While I didn't agree to give half my income for 30 months to a woman with the same education and earning power as I have, I did pay off her charges to the joint credit card for many months last year, which included her 2 month trip to Greece, and I did send her a few grand.
What I also did do was put her on my health insurance. It costs me little, but benefits her greatly. I do it out of kindness and because I do, even now, while totally pissed off at her pigheaded irrationally spiteful choices, love her. All I have to do is check a box, and pay an extra $20 per month, and she gets health insurance. So I do. And I even agreed to keep her on through 2006, and to allow the divorce not to be finalized until the end of the year, so that I could keep her covered.
Hell, tonight, while talking with a friend about changing jobs, the thought crossed my mind that I'd need to keep her insured the entire time thought my transition. I'm such a sucker.
And now all she has to do is say "YES", and I'd check a box, file our taxes, and use the resulting refund to cover her legal fees, and feel so grateful I'd agree to the really crappy agreement on the table.
So now she's going to be irrationally vengeful, and essentially deprive us both of thousands just to satisfy her desire to fuck me over financially. And it's going to make it very hard for me to want to do anything kind for her.
She cannot be kind to me while she's angry. And this is why I couldn't be married to her.
I, on the other hand, can know that I love her even when I'm angry. And this is why I'll agree to her terms. And maybe, some day, she'll see that, at least once in her life, someone loved her.
posted by Kenneth at 10:15 PM
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