Free bikini wax with every thoracic surgery

Part of my recovery process has been discovering exactly what all was done to me while I was unconscious.

I'm not a very hairy guy, so it's taken me a while to notice all the "manscaping" that was done.

My bikini line has been updated to prepare me for today's low-rise fashions (and in case they needed to do the appendectomy the old fashioned way). And I thankfully discovered when I went to remove the bandage on my belly button that my "happy trail" got removed. No more fuzz between my navel and my now much more southernly located bikini zone.

If it weren't for the fact that my entire bikini area is a giant grape jelly colored bruise, I'd feel kinda sexy. But right now, I'd only appeal to a hardcore S&M audience.

"MMMM.... purple and bruisey... That's hot."