Monday, May 08, 2006

Just take two

Remember "Just say No", the 80's campaign which got in my brain and is the reason I've never tried pot?

Well, I have a new slogan, provided me by K, who spent a lot of time with me this last weekend just being good to me: Just take two.

I agonize over indulging in anything that makes me feel good. Deep Catholic programming: If it feels good, stop. If you want something, for God's sake, deny yourself that thing. Suffering is virtue. Joy must be earned through pain. Lots of pain.

Screwed up religious ideas aside, I do have a reasonably rational fear of liking any chemically created positive emotional state. I have an addictive personality.

So I try to get by without the pain killers. I try to wait before taking the next dose. I try to get by on one pill.

Then K blasts through my insanity, points out I heal just as fast in misery or ecstasy, and that ecstasy is more fun.

She called around 4. How was I? Ok. Not great. Kind of owchie. When was my last pain med? 2 pm, I took just one Vicodin.

I took the second while on the phone with her.

I feel great now.

Just take two.