Withdrawal

Thanksgiving with K and her mom and aunt/cousin was fine. The food was great. Our post dinner "nap," during which we slept very little, was also great.

I got up this morning before 6 to return to Marin to row. The row was okay, but not super. I put in 30 minutes on the erg afterwards to rack up some meters. Every year, Concept2 posts the holiday challenge for 100,000 or 200,000 meters on the erg between Thanksgiving and Christmas. And every year I shoot for 200K. And every year I get to about 160K. Mostly because I don't erg every day; I opt to row. But our on-water practices don't make me faster. So this year I will erg.

It was below 40 this morning, frost on the dock. Nippy. My apartment, where I'd left the heat off, was a meat locker when I finally got home.

I've been here all day ever since, staring down tax stuff I don't want to do, getting that antsyness I get when I'm procrastinating. I itch to do deeply exciting things instead of the deeply boring thing I'm working on. It's been hard not to give in to the impulses today.

K invited me to spend more time with her and her mom. They were in Marin, and are going out for Indian food tonight. Her mom's nice and fun and all. I'm just afraid of getting close to family. I still have a lot of "Whoa, when did this get serious? How the hell did I get here? What happened to dating around and having fun?" moments. Plus I'm an introvert, and extended time with strangers drains me. I need to retreat and re-charge.

So I'm home.