Mohammed: "Yeah, I did that, too"
In a shocking string of testimony obtained perfectly legally while putting the subject under no duress or coercion whatsoever, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed confessed to doing everything bad that happened under the Bush presidency.
"9-11: Me. Shoe bomber: Me. Daniel Perl:Me. Hurricane Katrina: Also me. I can now control the weather, Allah be praised."
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed today also admitted to causing the sub-prime mortgage market to collapse and to firing the federal prosecutors.
"What else ya got?" said Mohammed. "Yeah, I did that, too."
When asked whether the conditions of his confinement or his dim prospects for ever seeing a fair trial or release had anything to do with his new revelations, Mohammed replied, "No, I love my new life here at hotel Guantanamo. I just wanted to get those things off my chest. I feel much better now. Phew."
"Oh, and I leaked Valerie Plame's identity as a CIA agent. And I'm letting Mexicans in. And outsourcing jobs to India. And I made the gas prices go up. Plus, I posted copyrighted materials on You Tube."
"Will you kill me now?" he concluded.
"9-11: Me. Shoe bomber: Me. Daniel Perl:Me. Hurricane Katrina: Also me. I can now control the weather, Allah be praised."
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed today also admitted to causing the sub-prime mortgage market to collapse and to firing the federal prosecutors.
"What else ya got?" said Mohammed. "Yeah, I did that, too."
When asked whether the conditions of his confinement or his dim prospects for ever seeing a fair trial or release had anything to do with his new revelations, Mohammed replied, "No, I love my new life here at hotel Guantanamo. I just wanted to get those things off my chest. I feel much better now. Phew."
"Oh, and I leaked Valerie Plame's identity as a CIA agent. And I'm letting Mexicans in. And outsourcing jobs to India. And I made the gas prices go up. Plus, I posted copyrighted materials on You Tube."
"Will you kill me now?" he concluded.
posted by Kenneth at 10:19 AM
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