Some sanity

I've learned in my life that, as hard as it may be to do so at the time, putting the truth out there gets you to the right answer faster than living in denial. When you don't try to hide from unpleasant truths, you move on to the inevitable task of dealing with them sooner. Turn into the pain.

Which is part of why I blogged about the lack-o-latex event of last weekend.

Some of the few folk who know me in real life and read the blog were in touch to gently remind me that it's okay for me not to want to have kids right now and that, as hard as it may be for K, I do her no service by trying to be some place I'm not. Hell, 6 months ago I didn't want one steady girlfriend. She's lucky I've come this far. And as much as it may pain me to diasspoint her, it will pain me more to be dishonest with myself.

So our Valentine's Day was a latex-involved event. And while I felt that K's enthusiasm dwindled a bit once el preservativo was tagged into the ring, and while I had the recurring, situation-dependent "Hey, this'll be great! Kids aren't so bad! It'll be like this forever!" impulse to go au natural, I was glad I made the choice to stick with my guns, use my rational faculties and hold my fire, so to speak.

The downside is that there will be more melt downs, for sure. And K may have to re-evaluate some of her choices not to pursue certain avenues towards motherhood. And those difficulties are what I'm chosing to confront rather than avoid them by caving to the emotional pressure I feel to make her happy by giving her exactly what she wants.