Friday, January 25, 2008

My number one fear about having kids

Spelled out in this article and in her attitude.

Either her man also has no sex drive, or has done what so many through the ages have done: Gotten his needs met elsewhere. It's a tidy arrangement, really. She gets his income support for raising the kids, he gets assurance the kids are actually his. He won't bug her for sex if she won't bug him about how he's able to not bug her for sex. He's discrete, she turns a blind eye.

I have to confess, I think a cooling of lust is part of our non-monogamous programming. We're wired to seek novelty, wired to get hot for each other and fuck a lot till we conceive, then hang out to get the kids out of infancy, then move on to the next exciting thing. So I don't fully disagree with
her idea that her experience is common. Just wish we could arrive at the right "therefore's" out of it. "Grin and bear it" may be the right answer. Wider acceptance and understanding of the consequences of our non-monogamous wiring may be another.