Thursday, August 17, 2006

Crappy News

I got a call from my physical therapist today.

After our last session, in which she noticed I was a bit down, she asked to see my MRI films again, so she could chat with my doctors. She wanted to get their feedback on the rate of my progress given the nature of my injury.

Today she told me she had chatted with all the doctors, and that I should make an appointment to follow up with an orthopedic surgeon for a consult. He didn't like the way my knee looked.

In a word, fuck.

It doesn't mean surgery is imminent, but it means it's possible. I feel down, given that I had hoped to be getting better faster. I'm sad that I might not be racing in the fall. I'll accept whatever happens. I know, eventually, I will be better. I just need to be patient. I'm just not sure now when I can expect to be well again, and I think that's what I need to feel ok. I need to have a time line and some goals.

The earliest appointment I could get was Sept 14. He's a surgeon that comes well recommended by a friend I trust, who had his knee done by this guy.

I don't want surgery. But my knee's not well. It just buckles for no reason while walking on a level surface. Not good. I can't run, and I don't try hiking any more. It's impacting my life.

But why couldn't they have figured this out back in May? The MRI is from right after the injury. If it doesn't look good now, it didn't look good then.