Done

Signed the divorce agreement this morning. Also signed the title to our car over to her, and wrote her a check for more than I spent on her engagement ring.

And we're unmarried.

The mediator's assistant, a notary, whom I'd not met previously, walked me through that moment of officially ending my marriage. For her, it was some paperwork in her work day. Not that she was insensitive, but for her the ritual was devoid of meaning. Which is part of why the process is so terrible: Strangers paid to help kill your most intimate relationship. Must be how it feels at the hospital delivering babies, or with funeral directors. Those involved are having a life-altering moment, those being paid are just doing their jobs, dispassionately participating in others' life-altering moments.

After some thought, I think I will bring my wedding ring back to the top of the mountain where I proposed to her. I'll find a quiet place to leave it (may the leave no trace gods forgive me), maybe with some durable words attached, so that in case it is found, it will be returned to where I left it. There's a chance I'll be back in New England in October. It would be a fitting time of year to do it, as that's when we were engaged.