DumbVinci Code

"Oh, I am shot. I am mortally wounded! My secrets will die with me! I must protect the grail. I know! I shall run all around the museum thinking up puzzles! Many of them! Very challenging ones that involve writing backwards, number theory, and symbology! Because I have the time and energy to do that, but not enough to call an ambulance and get to a hospital and live."

Setting this aside, the story's cool.